portrait of a girl

This second semester is proving to be more brutal then the one I had as a freshman. Not only are the subjects more challenging, they are also very demanding. I am running out of coping mechanisms, so I will use this post as an outlet. Perhaps, I will be able to get a better grip. That is why I will dedicate this post with all the happy thoughts I can think of. I will not talk about school. I will not talk about my struggle with faith or religion at the moment. Instead of lashing out like a wild animal, I'll try to emit positive vibes. This moment is my happy corner, and I'M GOING TO MAKE IT ONE VERY SMILE INDUCING POST. Well, I'll try to at least. I owe my battered self that much! I'll start off with Neverland. Why? It's because I haven't got many years left in my youthful days. I just turned eighteen. That shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is. I guess it's nice to think of Neverland in times like this. Running off with the lost boys, playing arou...

The last party I've been to was Lorry's in August, so I guess I was getting lazy to dress up for the occasion. I actually had second thoughts in joining the debut, but I decided to go. Why? Viel is one of the best people I know. (♡＾▽＾♡) It wouldn't feel right to not be there. SADLY, I didn't have a gift prepared, since I never went out anymore. I spent my days bed ridden, watching television.  (¬‿¬)  It's a sad life, kids. Anyways, I just took a simple black dress, put on some heels and went over to Page's to get my haggard face colored. Cathy was already there, claiming that she's prepared herself for the debut since noon. Make up followed, more chit chat until we finally journeyed to Marco Hotel for the party. Sir Alger took the time to drop Page, Cathy, Shane and me there. Penda was there by the front desk already. She was like so early. She also surprised me with a gift! So sweet!  (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)  I haven't even got her one.  We struggled as we wa...

30. Who are you Who am I? I dislike asking myself this question now, because my mind tends to go blank. It’s not because I have no vision on who I truly am, but because these words will not be enough to capture the ‘I’. The easiest and most convenient answer would be me. ‘I am me’ is what most simply say to avoid further explanation. However, I feel that there’s the need to give more credit to my existence than just a two-lettered word.  I was a spontaneous and reckless youth. I do things head on without thinking of consequences. I have implanted in myself that I have to live as if I will die the next day. I was chasing every moment. It didn’t matter if it was worth it, because I just felt the need to. Now, I have become someone who is cautious. I learned to think about things more thoroughly, ending with little regret. Then again,  I actually don’t believe that life is merely a set of right decisions after careful deliberation of the consequences. It is not at all app...

29. In this past month, what have you learned I guess I learned to be more patient with other people. Honestly, I really hate waiting or being made to wait, whether it's intentional or not. I guess it helped to know that I'm that way. That is why I realized that I can do something about it. I'm still learning to be more patient, so we'll just have to wait and see! Because of Philosophy, I also learned, or realized, that it's nice to pause every once in awhile and just reflect. It doesn't have to be something significant like the world economy. It can be the little things, like what you had for lunch! Though it's quite tiring in class. Sir: When you ate your breakfast, did you ask yourself why you're eating? Why were you eating? Me: No. I was just hungry Sir: Why did you have to eat? Me: .. Sir: *More Why questions* Me: @___@ I've also learned to take into account other people's feelings. I really really forget that ...

28. A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then Last year, I was still hung over from HS. I still acted as if nothing changed, and as if everything was the same. I guess you could say I was in denial. Now, I have learned to accept that things have changed but then again, the important thing still remains. I have matured since last year. Back then, I still behaved like a spoiled child. I also didn't know how to handle my time and my studies. I partially blame the fact that I was still adjusting. I know that I usually take about a year or so to adjust. It was the same thing for me in the beginning of high school after all. Now, I get by better. I don't have much struggle coping with my studies, or managing my time. Plus, my relationships with people improved. Not only with people, but with God. For the whole year, I have been given more trials than I ever had years before. I guess it kept my faith stronger, withstanding all those. I would...

25. What I would find in your bag ❥ALL in one notebook It’s a binder with all my notes for Calculus, Philosophy, Physics, Political Science. My Chemistry notes is different though. Chemistry be demanding that way. It's been with me since the first semester, and it has all my random ideas and doodles at the back. ❥ONE working pen in the midst of a handful of used ones. I guess I’m too lazy to throw away the pens I can no longer use. I should probably clear it out soon, since it’s such a pain to look for the one working pen. I wouldn't want to panic if we suddenly have a surprise quiz. ❥BARELY working and THANKFULLY SOLAR calculator. I don’t have to explain. Do you know how difficult it is to sit directly under the sunlight just so your calculator won’t die on you in the middle of an impossible quiz? Trust me. The pain just BURNS through. ❥BOOKS for every subject. I used to think that college meant that I would no longer be carrying books ins...

22. What makes you different from everyone else What makes me different? Where do I even start?  I am confident that I am one of a kind. I am sure that no one can be exactly like me, even if we are practically identical. My thoughts, my reflections, my experiences separate me from that seemingly identical person. So, what makes me different than most? I am completely random. My randomness is commonly classified as weird, since that is what society does when it cannot explain. UGH. I sound so formal. Stupid Philosophy essays. Anyways, I enjoy being different. I like to think of it as 'Why blend in when you were born to stand out?'. Heh. I literally stand out because of my height. I guess that could count as a difference, too? I also like to talk to myself, and reward myself with simple things. I dislike spending too much, but I like it when people spend money for me. Makes sense? I am actually - - snobbish, like most not so average people. I don't...

21. A picture of something that makes you happy A lot of people comment on my ability to be happy over the simplest of things. People always point this out, and it no longer surprises me. However, I don't think there is one definite thing that makes me happy. Random things make me happy. I get happy over all the little things, though my high cheeks might have something to do with my face always seeming to be smiling. Anyways, the challenge requires me pictures so. . Here we go! Self explanatory Desserts! Sweet random messages that show they care Books that take me to another world! Starry nights One Direction or any other cheesy songs CUTE PUPPEEEHHS! Disney or any other fairy tale love stories <3 Friendships! Sincere compliments AND SO MUCH MORE! C: SO HAPPY ! ~

19. Nicknames you have; why do you have them Everyone has their own personal nicknames, so here are some of mine! ❥  Lingling ⇨ This nickname was born because my cousins could not pronounce my second name, Pauline. They could only pronounce 'Ling', which is supposed to be the 'Line' of Pauline. In the end, it stuck and everyone in the neighborhood calls me this. My aunties, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and ALL THEIR coworkers call me Ling. It's shocking when my mom brings home some of her coworkers, and they all start calling me Lingling. My neighbors, my childhood friends call me this. I am not comfortable is someone new calls me by this name. I would be like 'What the heck is wrong with you?' ❥  Pauline/Pauling ⇨ For my classmates in elementary, I was always called Pauline. They called me Pauline because everyone kept mispronouncing 'Frances' with Francis. It's irritating, and I kept on complaining until everyone decided on...

18.  Plans/dreams/goals you have I don't like to plan so far ahead. They often don't happen the way I pictured them to be. But for the sake of this challenge, I'll just have to think of some. I want to graduate Chemistry, within four years. I don't want to prolong my stay in Uni, but I think my thesis will definitely hold me back like the other super seniors. After that, I could probably look for a stable job. AND THEN I WOULD HAVE MY OWN LABORATORY LIKE DEXTER! It has to be in my house, and it has to be huge! It has to have a complete list of chemicals I can use, and the laboratory apparatus needed! I guess that's partly why I wanted to become a chemist. IT WOULD BE AWESOME to have my PERSONAL LABORATORY. I want to invent something, experiment on something, discover something new with my own hands. I guess I want to be  able to control something, and be able to manipulate it in ways I want it to act. It's like playing around, but being paid i...

17 . Someone you would want to switch lives with for one post and why Someone I would want to switch lives for one post? Can we change that into one day? I guess it would have to be any boy. I don't have anyone specific in mind (I'm actually thinking of Obama, though) Just not Fido, because I know him too well already. I would like to know how they  live their daily lives (Ahem. Daily Lives of High School Boys) . It would be a completely awesome experience, to switch lives for one day with any random boy. A boy, who is  preferably , not a druggie. But meh. Given the chance, I'll gladly grab anything. Again with the Obama. It was just a sudden thought. Nothing but curiosity  I wouldn't like to switch, but I think it would be a great experience to be him for a day. It's just not for me, though. I don't have the leadership skills to last a minute of it. It makes me wonder how he manages to keep America on its foot, when it's practically ...

16. Another picture of yourself (baby pic!) I didn't have time to scan and everything. I ended up taking pictures of old pictures. It's of very low quality. I guess it will have to do! Onwards to little me! This is me with a doggie plushie that's bigger than me. I guess I was always a dog person ever since I was young. I'm so smiling. My mama and me on the hammock! This was me. I guess I was only a few days old. Look at my papa! SO YOUNG ! My tito too! He's twenty eight now! My mama. She's so young too! I think she was 21 here.

15 . Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play Kiss Me Again - We are the In Crowd It's been awhile since I've felt butterflies. Do you feel the same way too? If every single second could last that much longer. Would you hold me? Speak now - Taylor Swift Don’t say "Yes", run away now, I’ll meet you when you’re out of the church at the back door. No Surprise - Daughtry It's no surprise. I won't be here tomorrow I can't believe that I stayed 'til today There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow There's nothing here in this soul left to save Gotta Be You - One Direction Can we fall one more time? Stop the tape and rewind Oh and if you walk away I know I’ll fade ‘Cause there is nobody else Truly Madly Deeply - One Direction Truly, madly, deeply, I am Foolishly, completely falling And somehow you kicked all my walls in So baby, say you’ll always keep me Truly, madly, crazy, deeply in love with...

13. A letter to someone who has hurt you recently I don’t know who hurt me recently. L  I guess I should skip this one for now. I'll post one if someone does hurt me. Either way, I don't have much to say. It really depends with the person who did me wrong. 14.   Pictures of you and your family These pictures were taken on my sister's sixteenth birthday. My papa isn't there, since he's still working overseas. I'll just put a picture of him and mama in the end. There's not much to say since this post only requires picture. We were waiting for our order at Barkadahan Grill! My mama is the one wearing brown. She's 39 years old. The girl beside her is my sister, who just turned sixteen the time this was taken. The one in black is obviously me. The sulking boy at the end is my fourteen year old brother, going through the usual angst-y phase. My brother didn't look too interested in this post We just finished going up at G...

11. Another picture of you and your friends I will skip post 11 because it's basically the same with the previous post ( making up lost time ). I don't have any other pictures and I don't feel like uploading the older ones. 12 . How you found out about Blogger and why you made one So, I found out about blogger from my friend Penda . She kept talking about blog posts, and I couldn't quite understand what she was talking about. In the end, I checked her blog after a few more conversations about the blog. There was just no making sense until I saw it for myself. It was interesting, but not that interesting to get me started. I already had a google account by then, so it was easy for me to keep track. I started  blogging  because everyone that mattered was doing it. I wanted to be able to follow their posts easily, without having to be the anonymous  comment-er . Basically, that's it. I have no intention of profiting from the internet since my posts ar...

 9.  Something you’re proud of in the past few posts  days I AM TOO LAZY TO EMPHASIZE. I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I'M PROUD I FOUND MY WAY BACK TO GOD AGAIN, AFTER WANDERING IN THE DESERT.  I decided to change the post to days, because there isn't much to brag about my posts. It's my daily life with random side thoughts, and it's not that interesting to be proud of. So in place, I will post something I am proud of the past few days. There will be those times of weakness, where you start asking questions about your faith. However, that's when you realize that your is greater than all those doubts. Philosophy made me doubt (it's basically about doubting everything and be only sure that you're doubting), but I managed to put my heart more into my faith and my God. It actually helps you realize how stronger you have become because you overcame such obstacle. I was actually a bit shy to talk to God, after seemingly ignoring Him the past few days. It wasn...

8 . Short term goals for this month and why Pass the Physics chapter exam and other preliminary exams- I didn't do well in the first chapter exam, since I barely passed. This time, I plan to hit back hard with my books. I need to do better with my studies, since the second semester is always the worst. Do not receive any mark below B in Chemistry - I have a B- exam result, and I won't settle for anything less than a B. I know I can do better if I just bring myself to study. Stupid laziness thing. Not to mention the fact that 60% is the passing for Chemistry majors. Stupid high standards Save enough for decent gifts and up coming tour - Simple. It's a day of giving, and not receiving. Plus, the Chemtour is approaching! I need to save enough to have pocket money for the tour. It's embarrassing to always depend and ask for money from my parents. Be more AWESOME. Do not make a fool of yourself, but don't be a sour grape - Surely this is self explanatory. I d...

7. A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you I have got to admit that there are a lot of people or somethings that made an impact in my life. I should give them a lot of credit. My parents, my siblings, my cousins, my friends, my teachers and classmates! But if it weren't for the person who had the biggest impact on me, I wouldn't have met them at all. So the answer? Jesus Christ! If it isn't obvious,then I'll try to explain as much as I can. I believe in hell, and before I knew Christ, I wasn't sure if I wouldn't end up there. I feared death because of the thought. Anyways, I didn't discover Him on my own. I know I should probably give credit to my awesome friends, but I feel like Jesus was using them to get to me. In the end, He was the one working the strings. He in the end saved me. His Words give me hope. His gift of life is one of the greatest riches. I am well and healthy, I have a great family. I have fr...

5 . A picture of somewhere you’ve been to I've been to a lot of places, but I'd love to advertise this small island in Mindanao. It's pretty far from the city, but Duka Bay is still farther away. From the city, it takes approximately two hours to arrive there. It's a soulful place, and it's mostly visited during Holy Week. We went there at Thursday, before Black Friday. We actually when there on a whim, but it was the  nice kind of impulsiveness. Mom already warned us that the way up would be tiring, and IT FREAKING IS. I feel like the stations are getting farther and farther as you start getting up. It's pretty steep, but the view is absolutely breath taking! This was a picture on the way up. I think it was the sixth, so we weren't that high up yet. Still not at the top. This part shows a big fish pond, or something like that. I'm not quite sure what it is there. This is my favorite picture. The sky and the seas look as if th...