portrait of a girl

I decided to post weird stuff that I do, and like and etc. Why? Because I think it would be fun to read for you guys and future me of course! I like wearing big shirts at home and not wear shorts underneath. I absolutely love eating corned beef all of a sudden. I crave it every morning. When I shower, I wash my neck first for some reason. I like sucking the bones of chicken, because I like the taste of the bone marrow. I run out of breath after the fifth floor Before I sleep, I play some songs and imagine they were dedicated to me I always lose my phone. I always forget where I put it, even if I am already holding it. I feel uncomfortable when I'm talking to people who looks really rich. I feel even more uncomfortable when I'm being introduced to strangers. I used to want dresses, but now I want colored pants. I have three at the moment. I like wearing shorts and sleeveless lately. I sometimes look at my butt in the mirror, thinking if my butt is normal I practi...

This summer, I am taking Sociology and the blah blah of blah. I can't remember the whole description. Anyways, it's rather interesting especially after thinking more about it even after classes. The funny thing is I just realized that society is controlling us. It's not shaping us to the people we want to be, but it forcefully sets rules and policies. In a way, it takes away our freedom by limiting us. By society, I mean all it's institutions. Family, Religion, Education and the likes. I mean, I never really took the time to question certain beliefs. From the small things like "Mano po". Why do we even do that? The answer to that is ridiculously far off. Apparently, it originated from the act of kissing the ring of the Pope. It's not a sign of respect of the elders, but society had formed it that way. It's very disrespectful if we don't do it. It doesn't really matter, but I have been thinking of this lately. Society has shaped our view abo...

When I was a young girl, I remember watching Child's Play. And honestly, I was and still am terrified of Chucky. It's one of the reasons why I dislike dolls with a passion. Barbie dolls are included. My parents stopped giving me dolls when they saw me drawing on their faces and cutting their heads off. Hm. That just made me sound like a psychotic child. Anyways, I've been exposed to horror movies at such a young age that this time around most horror movies just bore me to death. It's not because I can no longer feel fear. It's because I like the feeling of being scared. It gives adrenaline. Lately, that's the case. I watch all the horror movies I can find only to be disappointed 70% of the time.   , which is why I don't want to watch horror movies alone. It gets boring. It's much more fun when you have someone who gets easily scared out of their wits. The favorite person I like watching horror movies with is my sister. We are only about a year apa...

Remember when I said that class was over? Well, I wasn't being honest to myself. Sure, I didn't have to wake up early every day. I didn't have to prepare myself for a quiz, or make any assignments. It was just weird. It's like going out on a sunny day wearing layers of sweatshirts. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and I couldn't shake it off. I couldn't feel absolute freedom from school since I didn't have my grades yet. I didn't know what was the outcome of all those days I spent trying to understand everything. As an end-oriented person, I has gots to know! But now after two weeks of nonstop nightmares about failing--- I did have nightmares--, it's finally here! I AM FINALLY SET FREE Soaring. Flying. There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach Oh yes, baby. My grades are finally complete! As you can see, my grades increased and decreased. What made me happy the most is seeing my Chem 3 increase a letter grade higher...

So, I am officially on summer break. I guess that would mean I have plenty of time to revive my internet self. Either that, or I spend time on more productive stuff like studying. It's been such a long time since I've talked about something. I'm no longer sure what I want to talk about. Actually, I have so many things to say. The words just don't seem to come to me. I'll jump from one topic to another then. You know what? I've realized that I can never be truly happy if I don't have God with me. For the past days, I have been ignoring God. It's hard to admit, since people tend to misjudge. I was struggling with stress, so I wasn't relying in Him. I thought that I could only rely on my self since it's my problem in the first place. I guess that made everything unnecessarily harder for me. Once I realized that, some things felt lighter. I gave Him a role in my life again. It's kind of hard to explain, but it felt like I can still ...

I will never watch movies recommended by random people Do you know how it feels like when you're the only one who hasn't seen a supposedly awesome mind blowing movie? Everyone, and I mean literally EVERYONE in college cannot stop themselves from babbling about how much they enjoyed Pitch Perfect. If you don't mind the random outbursts of singing in the hallways, you could survive. I didn't. I decided to give this movie a shot, since the people with  opinions I respect told me to watch. Make no mistake because I won't make that mistake again. Pitch Perfect was 'awesome. . .ly terrible'. It began innocently enough, I actually liked the song in the beginning. Suddenly, it became the biggest mash up of every single cliche EVER. I absolutely felt DISAPPOINTED. The movie was oversold to me. I had high expectations, since I do enjoy anything with singing involved. I cringed at the sum of the movie, and I just couldn't help myself from posting MY OPIN...

This second semester is proving to be more brutal then the one I had as a freshman. Not only are the subjects more challenging, they are also very demanding. I am running out of coping mechanisms, so I will use this post as an outlet. Perhaps, I will be able to get a better grip. That is why I will dedicate this post with all the happy thoughts I can think of. I will not talk about school. I will not talk about my struggle with faith or religion at the moment. Instead of lashing out like a wild animal, I'll try to emit positive vibes. This moment is my happy corner, and I'M GOING TO MAKE IT ONE VERY SMILE INDUCING POST. Well, I'll try to at least. I owe my battered self that much! I'll start off with Neverland. Why? It's because I haven't got many years left in my youthful days. I just turned eighteen. That shouldn't be such a big deal, but it is. I guess it's nice to think of Neverland in times like this. Running off with the lost boys, playing arou...

It's annoying when people ask you questions that you can't answer, but it's even more frustrating if you can't answer your own questions. Do you understand that? So when no one can answer your question, where can we turn to? God? I hate to admit it, but sometimes I can't feel a connection whenever I pray. Is it because a part of me is holding back from that? Why would that part of me hold back? Again. I can't answer my own questions. It's so frustrating. Am I wired wrong? Do I have some kind of genetic problem? There are those who can easily tune in with God. I can't help but be jealous of their high-energy passion for Him. I can't seem to bring myself, to be us pumped up as they are. Am I a lukewarm Christian then? Is it because logic and faith aren't on the same page? It's difficult when you're being trained to be logical, and you're still expected to remain faithful. There are no proofs to support claim of an existing Being, wh...

After Viel's Debut, I ended up back in our house. Vacations are the only time I can really rest, since my course requires mind blowing efforts. Like any normal teenager, I was on the internet a lot. I spent time with my cousins goofing around. I watched television. I went out with my family to watch movies (The Strangers is a respectable enough film). Basically, everything was smooth. The highlights of the rest of the days were: New Year's Eve Celebration and GATB Meet-up/First Day of School/ Thursday Madness. I will talk about all that in this post, to make up for my extended disappearance in the blogging community. NEW YEARS EVE Remember when I said that our family liked to celebrate every holiday together at my Grandma's? Well, obviously New Year's Eve was no exception. This time, we didn't have gifts in hand. However, we had our pouches ready. We were getting ready for-- I'll talk about that later. We bought food to share, and so did everyone else in t...