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of fragile things

i hate fragile things. it reminds me of how things can easily break, no matter how much effort you put into taking care of it. when you have a toy, a beautiful but fragile toy. you want to play with it, but when you do, you always have to put constraint. you always have it in mind what would happen when you do this. you do that. so you never really get to enjoy it fully. you're always too careful not to destroy it that sometimes you forget why you handle it with such care in the first place. you forget that you don't want to break it, because it was a beautiful toy you love to play with. arent some relationships like that? two people guard their thoughts too much. two people share too little. two people talk but do not communicate. two people scared to reveal in fear of breaking what they have. so little of what they have. so what is the point of their relationship if they are too focused with keeping it, than making something out of it. in relationships, y
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goodbyegoodbyegoodbye

Five years we shared the laughter and the pain. I honestly did not expect to be in a relationship so young, for so long. All the days just seemed to pass, carefree and reckless and gentle and strong. I do not know how, I do not know when. All I knew was that one day I realized I was already in love with you. Oh love, how I took it for granted. Constantly I pushed you away. You went away. You came back, and sheltered me from my own insecurities. Over and over. I don't know why. I pushed too hard. You went away. You never came back. I stood there and gazed at the two hearts that I broke. Fragile hearts crushed by my very fingers. Shards piercing us from the inside and out. Intense then numbing. Until there was just nothing to feel. I hate how much you never cared for your self. I hate how you always undermine your worth. I hate how little I showed you of how I cared for you. I hate how little I showed my appreciation of you. I hate how I can't find the words to say. I hate
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Wazzup! Confessions

I decided to post weird stuff that I do, and like and etc. Why? Because I think it would be fun to read for you guys and future me of course! I like wearing big shirts at home and not wear shorts underneath. I absolutely love eating corned beef all of a sudden. I crave it every morning. When I shower, I wash my neck first for some reason. I like sucking the bones of chicken, because I like the taste of the bone marrow. I run out of breath after the fifth floor Before I sleep, I play some songs and imagine they were dedicated to me I always lose my phone. I always forget where I put it, even if I am already holding it. I feel uncomfortable when I'm talking to people who looks really rich. I feel even more uncomfortable when I'm being introduced to strangers. I used to want dresses, but now I want colored pants. I have three at the moment. I like wearing shorts and sleeveless lately. I sometimes look at my butt in the mirror, thinking if my butt is normal I practi
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The thing about society.

This summer, I am taking Sociology and the blah blah of blah. I can't remember the whole description. Anyways, it's rather interesting especially after thinking more about it even after classes. The funny thing is I just realized that society is controlling us. It's not shaping us to the people we want to be, but it forcefully sets rules and policies. In a way, it takes away our freedom by limiting us. By society, I mean all it's institutions. Family, Religion, Education and the likes. I mean, I never really took the time to question certain beliefs. From the small things like "Mano po". Why do we even do that? The answer to that is ridiculously far off. Apparently, it originated from the act of kissing the ring of the Pope. It's not a sign of respect of the elders, but society had formed it that way. It's very disrespectful if we don't do it. It doesn't really matter, but I have been thinking of this lately. Society has shaped our view abo
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I like love stories but I'm a horror nut.

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When I was a young girl, I remember watching Child's Play. And honestly, I was and still am terrified of Chucky. It's one of the reasons why I dislike dolls with a passion. Barbie dolls are included. My parents stopped giving me dolls when they saw me drawing on their faces and cutting their heads off. Hm. That just made me sound like a psychotic child. Anyways, I've been exposed to horror movies at such a young age that this time around most horror movies just bore me to death. It's not because I can no longer feel fear. It's because I like the feeling of being scared. It gives adrenaline. Lately, that's the case. I watch all the horror movies I can find only to be disappointed 70% of the time.   , which is why I don't want to watch horror movies alone. It gets boring. It's much more fun when you have someone who gets easily scared out of their wits. The favorite person I like watching horror movies with is my sister. We are only about a year apa
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OFFICIALLY OVER

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Remember when I said that class was over? Well, I wasn't being honest to myself. Sure, I didn't have to wake up early every day. I didn't have to prepare myself for a quiz, or make any assignments. It was just weird. It's like going out on a sunny day wearing layers of sweatshirts. It was an uncomfortable feeling, and I couldn't shake it off. I couldn't feel absolute freedom from school since I didn't have my grades yet. I didn't know what was the outcome of all those days I spent trying to understand everything. As an end-oriented person, I has gots to know! But now after two weeks of nonstop nightmares about failing--- I did have nightmares--, it's finally here! I AM FINALLY SET FREE Soaring. Flying. There's not a star in heaven that we can't reach Oh yes, baby. My grades are finally complete! As you can see, my grades increased and decreased. What made me happy the most is seeing my Chem 3 increase a letter grade higher
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Oh my my

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So, I am officially on summer break. I guess that would mean I have plenty of time to revive my internet self. Either that, or I spend time on more productive stuff like studying. It's been such a long time since I've talked about something. I'm no longer sure what I want to talk about. Actually, I have so many things to say. The words just don't seem to come to me. I'll jump from one topic to another then. You know what? I've realized that I can never be truly happy if I don't have God with me. For the past days, I have been ignoring God. It's hard to admit, since people tend to misjudge. I was struggling with stress, so I wasn't relying in Him. I thought that I could only rely on my self since it's my problem in the first place. I guess that made everything unnecessarily harder for me. Once I realized that, some things felt lighter. I gave Him a role in my life again. It's kind of hard to explain, but it felt like I can still
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