portrait of a girl

i hate fragile things. it reminds me of how things can easily break, no matter how much effort you put into taking care of it. when you have a toy, a beautiful but fragile toy. you want to play with it, but when you do, you always have to put constraint. you always have it in mind what would happen when you do this. you do that. so you never really get to enjoy it fully. you're always too careful not to destroy it that sometimes you forget why you handle it with such care in the first place. you forget that you don't want to break it, because it was a beautiful toy you love to play with. arent some relationships like that? two people guard their thoughts too much. two people share too little. two people talk but do not communicate. two people scared to reveal in fear of breaking what they have. so little of what they have. so what is the point of their relationship if they are too focused with keeping it, than making something out of it. in relationships, y

Five years we shared the laughter and the pain. I honestly did not expect to be in a relationship so young, for so long. All the days just seemed to pass, carefree and reckless and gentle and strong. I do not know how, I do not know when. All I knew was that one day I realized I was already in love with you. Oh love, how I took it for granted. Constantly I pushed you away. You went away. You came back, and sheltered me from my own insecurities. Over and over. I don't know why. I pushed too hard. You went away. You never came back. I stood there and gazed at the two hearts that I broke. Fragile hearts crushed by my very fingers. Shards piercing us from the inside and out. Intense then numbing. Until there was just nothing to feel. I hate how much you never cared for your self. I hate how you always undermine your worth. I hate how little I showed you of how I cared for you. I hate how little I showed my appreciation of you. I hate how I can't find the words to say. I hate